10 Proven Ways To Win Your Rescue Dog’s Heart (And Trust)

All too often, rescue dogs come into new homes with their walls firmly up. Some dogs are fearful or mistrusting of humans after months – or even years – of being neglected. Others may simply have had a poor start in life with no real experience of people and the world at large.

I’ve seen this first-hand many times. But the good news is, with time and patience, those barriers can come down – even in the most shutdown dogs.

Based on my experience adopting multiple fearful rescue pups, in this article, I’m going to explore 10 proven ways that will help you overcome all that emotional baggage so your furry new family member learns to trust you and you can start building that lifelong bond.

How does your rescue dog feel when you bring him home for the first time?

Moving to a new home can be a time of many unknowns for a rescue dog. Everything is unfamiliar—new people, scents, sounds, pets. There may be lots of unfamiliar loud noises or people coming and going.

It’s a time when the rules have suddenly changed and your pup has to try to figure out where he is, who everyone is, and what he can and can’t do.

He may not even have experienced life in a home before.

When we adopted our fearful dog Roxy, she had spent the first two years of her life in the animal shelter. Because of this, she was poorly socialized and had little life experience. She had certainly never experienced a home environment or shared her space with humans.

She had no idea what anything was so she barked at the newsreaders on TV, was intimidated by her own reflection in the glass oven door, and was wary of the shiny, slippery floors.

Years later, when we adopted Florence, she had traveled on a 36-hour transport from Romania to Finland and was absolutely terrified.

So much so that we had to carry her out to the car because she was rigid with fear and wouldn’t – or couldn’t – walk. I’ll talk more about Florence later.

Stressful situations

While I have always leaned toward the most scared, inexperienced, shutdown dogs, not all shelter dogs are fearful by any means.

However, many will be wary of change and of people they don’t know. So it’s completely normal for your new pup to be withdrawn or even scared of his new environment and family.

Bear in mind he may not have had many – if any – positive experiences with people in the past.

Like Roxy, he may never have been in a home at all and it’s all new to him. Or he may have had a great life with a family who loved him, and then abandoned him at the shelter for some unforeseen reason.

Animal shelters can be noisy, stressful places with all the unfamiliar scents and barking, and in my experience, it can take dogs several weeks to decompress after being in that kind of environment.

On the flip side, when you first get your new rescue dog home, he might settle in like he’s been there his whole life.

If that’s the case, then congratulations – you’ve got a dog who can quickly bond and form trusting relationships with people! But if your dog is more wary, it’s important to take things slowly and carefully.

What are some signs that my dog is scared?

To foster trust between you and your new pup, it’s essential to learn to understand how your dog is feeling.

Dogs communicate how they feel through their body language, so by learning to read your dog’s signals, you will be able to better understand what he’s saying. This is your foundation for building trust and a better bond with him – especially if he’s fearful.

Panting, yawning, tongue flicking, lip licking, turning away, and freezing in place are all common signs that your pup feeling fearful, anxious, or stressed.

Other signs include a tense body posture, a furrowed brow, ears back, tail tucked low or underneath the body, whale eye (i.e. whites of the eyes showing), dilated pupils, standing with back legs planted ready to flee, and excessive drooling.

You might also find your dog is extremely vigilant or agitated, trembles with fear, has an increased heart rate and shallow/rapid breathing, or is urinating or defecating more than usual.

Some dogs will drink, bark, or sniff excessively when they’re scared. Others will avoid eye contact altogether, sleep a lot in an effort to avoid a scary (to him) situation, or try to hide away.

If you see any of these signs in your dog, it’s essential to respect them and not try to force the situation.

If your dog doesn’t feel safe enough yet to interact with you or feels overwhelmed by his new surroundings, it’s entirely okay for him to lie down alone out of sight and to regain his composure.

This isn’t an act of “disrespect” – he’s just scared, not antisocial! As Florence showed me, spending time alone in a safe place is completely normal for shelter dogs who are struggling with the transition to home life (I’ll go into more detail about that in #2, below).

How to get your rescue dog to trust you

A rescue dog’s journey to trusting you can be a tricky one, but here are my 10 proven ways to help him get there:

#1. Time and space

Right from the start, make a promise to both yourself and your pup that you’ll give him plenty of time and space to adjust to his new life.

This means not rushing in and trying to pet him or cuddle him right away – let him dictate the pace and come to you in his own time. This will serve you well in the long run.

Avoid pressuring him or forcing any interaction as this may make him even more scared and feel that he can’t trust you.

There’s no need to rush out for big long walks or head for the dog park either (and not all dogs enjoy socializing with multiple dogs in a dog park situation!).

Instead, let him slowly get used to his new surroundings and family members one by one. You’ll have plenty of time for all the other fun stuff later.

#2. A safe space

Talking of space, I recommend creating a safe space for your new rescue dog.

Set up an area or room containing all the necessary items your pup requires, like food and water, bedding and toys. Ideally, this will be in a quiet part of the home where he’s not going to be disturbed all the time.

You can use a baby gate or dog gate to cordon off a small area if you don’t have a spare bedroom or bathroom you can use.

To start with, your rescue dog will stay in his safe space and you’ll just pop in there now and again with his meals, and treats, and take him out for bathroom breaks. Other than that, leave him alone and give him time to decompress.

Later on, as he starts to relax, you can leave the door open so he can freely come and go.

Giving your rescue dog his own personal haven where he can retreat whenever he’s feeling scared or overwhelmed will be hugely beneficial for his welfare and provide him with a much-needed sense of security.

Florence lived in a bathroom for her first four weeks with us, too scared to come out. When we finally started leaving the door open and she felt brave enough to come out and see what was going on, she’d run back to her safe place multiple times a day.

We just let her do this without much fanfare until she stayed out for longer and longer. Eventually, after about two months she no longer felt the need to retreat.

She made all her own choices and, in the process, learned that she could trust us.

#3. Take a step back

Now you know the process of getting your dog to trust you is going to take some time, and you’re okay with that.

There’s really no need to get stressed about it or feel pressured into rushing things. Less is most definitely more.

So you’ve got your pup all set up in his safe space. Everything’s calm and quiet. Your next goal is to keep it that way.

So it may sound counterintuitive but the next step is really to do nothing! Just give him time to chill out and destress and realize he’s safe in his new home with these lovely new people.

Feeling safe is one of the most important things of all. If your dog feels safe, he can relax and not feel on edge the whole time, unsure of what’s going to happen next.

There’s a caveat to this, of course. I’m basing this on my own experiences with very fearful dogs. Your dog may be quite happy to get to know his new family on the first night in his new home, or go play in the yard with his new dog sister or brother. Or he may not want to be on his own.

When we adopted Maggie, we had a nice cozy safe room all set up for her, only for her to freak out, barking and whining and trying to break through the door.

Poor girl had been through the traumatic experience of being dumped in the shelter from being in a family home and was showing signs of separation anxiety.

She just didn’t want to be left alone – certainly not on her first night.

Every dog is different and will react differently. This is why being able to read their body language and understand how your dog is feeling is the most important thing of all.

Make sure you have a plan B, a plan C and perhaps even a plan D for those early days. It’s normal to hit bumps in the road when adopting a new rescue dog so take a deep breath and be prepared to adapt on the fly!

#4. Learn to communicate

I’ve already talked about how a great way to get your rescue dog to trust you is to learn how to communicate with him. And I don’t mean that in some hokey dog whisperer way! What I mean is using the same types of signals that dogs use.

Let’s start with staring. Staring is considered to be a hostile behavior in the canine world. So, try not to stare at your dog.

Instead, make soft eye contact where you look briefly toward him, then look away, then back again, then away. You get the idea. This shows him you’re not a threat.

When you approach your dog, hunch over a bit and stand sideways on to make yourself look smaller and non-confrontational. Move slowly and don’t make any sudden movements. Only approach him if he looks comfortable with it. If not, stay back for the time being.

You may have noticed that free-ranging dogs approach each other in a roundabout kind of way, walking “in curves” rather than marching directly toward the other (Rugaas, 2013). This is a way of keeping things calm and avoiding potential conflict. So you can do the same.

It’s important to never corner your dog. At the same time, always make sure he has an escape route if he wants to move away and create some distance.

I once took our dog Daisy, who we’d rescued in terrible condition from the street, (more on Daisy in #7) to the vet for her vaccinations. The vet in question backed her into a corner and towered over her. She was terrified and growled at him as a warning to back off.

He got annoyed and told me in no uncertain terms that she was “aggressive” and should be euthanized. He didn’t have the faintest idea about dog behavior.

I walked out and never returned, and found instead a fabulous vet who understood how to work with fearful dogs.

Don’t ever be afraid to advocate for your dog!

Calming signals

Okay, I’m off my soapbox now. Let’s get back to Florence, as I promised earlier.

As I’ve said, when we first adopted her she lived in a spare bathroom for about a month, too scared to venture out.

I used to go in there several times a day and sit on the floor at the other end of the room. I’d sit sideways on to Florence, who was at the other end of the room in her bed.

I’d just spend a few minutes looking at my phone, occasionally tossing her a tasty treat (gently, because otherwise, she got scared of my arm movement), making soft eye contact, and chatting to her in a calm, quiet voice. Then I’d get up and leave again.

I’d be conscious of her body language so as not to overwhelm her. If she looked nervous, I’d look away, turn my head to the side and present the side of my neck, so to speak.

Norwegian dog behavior expert Turid Rugaas talks of approximately 30 “canine calming signals” that dogs use to communicate with each other to avoid conflict. 

The head turn, she says, is the “most commonly used signal of them all…used every day and by all dogs.”

It certainly worked like a charm with Florence.

“It´s a fantastic way in which to solve conflicts, and it´s used a lot by all dogs,” says Rugaas. “Dogs are experts at solving and avoiding conflicts – they know how to deal with conflicts.”

This is a clever way to learn how to speak your dog’s language and help him learn that he can trust you.

In addition, if your dog is scared, it’s important to keep initial interactions short, focusing on making them as positive as possible. Spend just a few minutes at a time interacting with your dog, and pay attention to his body language for any signs of stress – just like I did with Florence.

If you see any signs that he’s getting overwhelmed or tense, use a calming signal or simply take a break and leave the room before he has time to get too worked up.

Doing this will help his emotional state not to escalate and create an environment where he feels safe.

Always try to end your interactions on a positive note, perhaps tossing a treat toward your pup as you leave the room.

#5. Making choices

It’s always best to let your dog approach you when he’s ready. And avoid trying to hug or kiss your pup before he feels safe around you. I’ve seen so many uneasy dogs at adoption events being hugged and petted by their well-meaning new families.

While hugging might feel like a loving gesture to you, for a scared dog it could be overwhelming or even terrifying – with no option to escape. This is how people get bitten.

So how do we avoid this? With a very simple consent test.

Consent tests

Consent testing is an important part of getting a rescue dog to trust you. All this means is the dog tells us he’s saying “yes” or “no” to something.

So if your dog comes over to you and paws at you for attention, you can be pretty sure he’s saying “Yes, I want you to pet me.”

But if you try to envelop him in a hug and he moves away, he’s saying “No thanks, I don’t want you to hug me at this time.”

Get the idea? You can nurture your pup’s trust in you by paying attention to the choices he makes. Doing this allows him to feel secure and learn that his boundaries are respected. And along the way, his confidence will grow!

Note that sometimes a “yes” will turn into a “no” at some point.

For example, your dog was enjoying having his head scratched but now he’s had enough and wants you to stop.

It’s also important to try to avoid making your dog feel conflicted.

For example, he’s sitting in the corner of his safe room and doesn’t yet feel confident enough to approach you. But you’re holding out a yummy treat that he really wants to eat.

What does he do? Approach you or avoid you?

In terms of consent testing, a “maybe” should be regarded as a “no.” So no, he doesn’t want to approach at this time even though he wants the treat, so why not just toss it gently toward him and alleviate his feelings of conflict?

Here’s a lovely little video from Dogkind demonstrating consent testing with dogs:

#6. Create positive associations

Positive associations are essential for helping a rescue dog learn to trust you. You want your pup to feel safe and associate you with good things rather than anything negative.

This will start to happen almost organically as he quickly learns to associate your presence with the arrival of his food, yummy treats, petting, playtime, fun outings, etc.

At the same time, it’s essential not to raise your voice or punish your pup in any way. This will only serve to make him more scared and less likely to open up and trust you.

The best way to build trust is to take things slowly, be patient, and have fun with the process.

#7. Second dog

If you have another dog in the house who already knows and trusts you, they can be really helpful in showing your new rescue dog that everything’s okay.

I recommend you keep the dogs separate at first and do gradual, controlled introductions (either through a barrier or with the dogs on leashes) paired with rewards for calm behavior.

But the reason I’m including this here is that another dog can work wonders in helping to boost your new dog’s confidence.

When we rescued Daisy, we intended to rehabilitate her (she was emaciated and covered in burn marks) and then find a fabulous home for her. But things don’t always work out the way you think they will!

At the time, we already had a very nervous dog, Louis, who had spent the first two years of his life chained up. He used to snap at your hand, drawing blood, if he thought you were going to hurt him (e.g. when you were clipping on the leash or doing anything around his head or neck area especially).

We worked extremely hard with Louis to get him to trust us but he was still very nervous and anxious when we took him out for walks.

Enter Daisy. She was calm, relaxed, engaged in the environment, and completely comfortable with us. When we first tried walking them together, it was amazing what an instant effect having a new companion had on Louis.

Suddenly he was a different dog! Seeing that Daisy trusted us made Louis feel safe enough to do the same.

So if you’re lucky enough to already have another pup, why not try introducing them to your nervous rescue? It could work wonders in helping them build their trust in you!

#8. The right gear

I recommend using a harness rather than a flat collar as it’s safer (far less likely to cause neck or throat injuries if the dog pulls on the leash) and more comfortable for the dog.

Please avoid anything (like a choke, prong, or, worst of all, shock collar) that is designed to work by causing pain and fear. This is the last thing you want when you’re trying to get your rescue to trust you.

If the environment allows you to safely do so, I would also recommend a long line or at least a 6ft. leash that gives the dog enough space to sniff and explore his environment without you standing right on top of him.

When I finally started taking Florence outside she was very wary of me standing so close to her (I was using a 6ft. leash) and kept lying down.

She was terrified of everything – me, the unfamiliar environment, and the world in general.

I instantly realized that a long line was the way to go. I switched the 6ft. leash for a 10-yard line and her confidence soared.

I also let her choose which way she wanted to go. Letting her make her own choices and decisions like this was a great way to build her confidence and show her she could trust me because she learned I wasn’t going to force her to do anything she wasn’t comfortable with.

I often took Roman with us too, so it was a bit of a double whammy.

I worked on long-line walking with Florence for four more months before I felt confident to remove the leash altogether. We haven’t looked back since and she never strays far from me in the forest when we’re out on our walks.

#9. Playtime and training

Play is a great way to help your dog develop his social skills, build trust, increase overall confidence levels, and switch his emotional state from fear to happiness.

Or as the RSPCA puts it, “you can’t beat good old-fashioned play to build a relationship.”

Play also improves welfare, buffers against stress, and can help animals recover from a lack of care or an impoverished early learning environment, according to animal behavior expert Dr. Karolina Westlund.

“Play may seem frivolous and not serious,” says Dr. Westlund. “It really isn’t. It may be the emotion that you should take the most seriously.”

Through regular play sessions, you can start to form a strong bond with your pup – one that will help make him love his new home and bring out his playful side.

But if he doesn’t want to play at first, that’s fine. He may not know what play is or have had much opportunity to engage in play.

Going back to Roxy, it took several months for her to feel confident enough to start running about playing.

“You may need to introduce play from scratch,” confirms the RSPCA.

“Begin by offering a selection of toys, see which they choose and then entice them to play by making the toy move around, disappear/reappear from behind something and so forth.”

Clicker training

It’s also a good idea to try out some clicker training as a way to build that all-important trust and increase your dog’s overall confidence.

Essentially, this is a training technique where you mark (with a click) and reward (usually with a treat but can also be praise, petting, or a toy – anything the dog loves) the desired behavior.

It’s a form of positive reinforcement that focuses on encouraging and rewarding good behaviors rather than punishing or scolding your pup for making mistakes. And behaviors that get rewarded get repeated.

I use clicker training with all my dogs, starting with the basics like “stop,” “wait,” and “come back.

But you can also use it to teach your pup more complex behaviors like retrieving, tricks, changing direction, or walking nicely on a leash.

The key is to start small. When training any new behavior, it’s important to break it down into smaller steps so that you’re reinforcing success at each step along the way.

Getting your dog to engage his brain will improve his overall mood state and help him think rationally instead of emotionally.

The less fearful he is, the more relaxed he’ll be. He’ll start to feel safe with you and at the same time, you can build your bond with your newly-found confident dog through these fun activities.

Here’s a video from Karen Pryor Clicker Training explaining more about, well, clicker training:

#10. Routine and structure

Dogs are comforted by the predictability of their environment and feel more secure when they have an idea of what comes next.

So setting up a schedule for mealtimes, walks, and play sessions will help your pup feel more comfortable in his new home and with his new family.

If your pup has a fixed daily routine and knows when these things are going to happen, it’ll be easier for him to relax and feel more secure. And with security comes trust.

So there you have it!

Final thoughts

Dogs are not going to automatically trust an unfamiliar person – it takes time for that relationship to develop.

So take things slowly, be consistent in your actions and behaviors around your new rescue dog, create a routine, provide plenty of positive reinforcement…and most importantly, give him time. If you’re patient and put in the work, eventually you will have a trusting furry friend by your side.

The bond you form with your pup is so special – it’s really worth taking the time to nurture that relationship from the very beginning.

You may also be interested in:

• 12 Tips On How To Socialize A Rescue Dog With Humans
• 20 Tips On How To Get A Scared Dog To Trust You
• Adopting A Rescue Dog: 20 Tips For The First Seven Days 
• How Long Does It Take For A Rescue Dog To Trust You? (4 Real-Life Examples!)
• Overcoming Fear: How To Help The Rescue Dog Who’s Scared Of Everything

Resources

• 5 training games that will help build your dog’s trust – RSPCA
• An Introduction to Clicker Training [Video]- Karen Pryor Clicker Training
• Brain Games For Dogs – Battersea Dogs and Cats Home
• Calming Signals – The Art of Survival – Turid Rugaas
• Petting Consent Tests movie [Video] – Dogkind
• PLAY – Animal Emotions/Module 4 [Educational Course] – Dr. Karolina Westlund/Illis Animal Behaviour Courses

NEED A DOG TRAINER OR BEHAVIOR EXPERT?

If you need more help dealing with a training or behavior issue, please find professional help from a force-free dog trainer who can consult with you either in person or remotely.

GOOD PLACES TO START ARE:
- COAPE Association of Pet Behaviourists and Trainers
- Pet Dog Trainers of Europe
- International Companion Animal Network
- Institute of Modern Dog Trainers
- Pet Professional Guild 

All dog owners deserve to have successful relationships with their canine companions!