Overcoming Fear: How To Help The Rescue Dog Who’s Scared Of Everything

When you adopt a rescue dog, he may not have much experience of the outside world or interacting with people. It may even be his first time in a home.

If you have a rescue dog who’s scared of just about everything you’re not alone. Many dogs who are rescued from shelters or bad situations have a fear of people they don’t know or of new environments.

This can be difficult to deal with, especially if you’re not sure how to help him overcome his fears.

In this article, I’ll discuss how to recognize the signs of fear and provide some essential tips on how to help your fearful rescue dog adjust to his fabulous new life. I’ll also answer some of the common questions new rescue dog owners often have.

Thinking of returning your pup? Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered with a tale of my very own. And if your new pup is scared of you, don’t panic! There are ways to get him to trust you and feel comfortable in his new home.

What are the signs of a fearful dog?

First of all, it’s important to be able to understand your dog’s body language so you know when he’s feeling scared. Sometimes the signals are obvious. Other times they’re more subtle.

Common signals that a dog is feeling fearful include:

• Ears back
• Whale eye
• Dilated pupils
• Avoiding eye contact
• Tongue flick
• Yawning
• Furrowed brow
• Stiff facial muscles/tight mouth
• Drooling
• Freezing (stiffened body)
• Standing with back legs planted ready to run (fight or flight)
• Tail carriage low or tail tucked
• Turning away
• Rapid heartbeat
• Fast, shallow breathing
• Excessive panting
• Pacing
• Peeing/pooping (sometimes a lot)
• Excessive drinking, sniffing, also sleeping to avoid the scary situation
• Cowering
• Trembling/shaking
• Hiding
• Barking
• Vigilant/agitated

If you see any of these signs or (most likely) a combination of some of them, you’ll know your rescue dog is feeling fearful.

You can help him by reassuring him in a calm, quiet voice, making soft eye contact, turning away so you’re sideways on to him (and therefore less of a threat), and giving him plenty of space.

If you see your dog is scared, never force him to do anything against his will, such as being petted or picked up. This will only make him feel more scared and worried he can’t trust you.

It’s really important to respect the dog’s wishes and give him space if he wants or needs it. Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to make up for lost time later on!

For now, you can just let your new pup dictate the pace and decide if and how he wants to interact with you. Make sure any interactions are a positive experience for him and keep them short so he doesn’t get overwhelmed.

At this stage, he just needs some extra TLC, time, patience, and support to work through his fears and get used to his whole new life.

How does a dog feel when he’s scared?

When a dog is scared he can’t think straight or learn any new behaviors.

The same thing happens with humans. If we’re terrified, our brain goes into primal mode, concerned purely with making sure we survive whatever scary situation we’ve landed in. It’s impossible to think rationally under such circumstances.

As director/producer Seth Porges puts it, “the more danger you’re in, the more ancient your response.”

This is pure survival mode, fight or flight. So it’s important not to punish a dog for showing fear or try to force him into a scary situation he can’t handle or isn’t ready for.

This can cause further distress and make them even more fearful of you or the situation. It may even result in aggressive behavior as a defense mechanism.

It’s not “bad behavior” for a dog to be scared. It’s just an emotion like any other and we need to provide reassurance and set up the environment in a way that helps him feel more secure.

How do you help a terrified rescue dog?

When it comes to helping a scared rescue dog, the most important thing to remember is to be patient. It may take time for him to adjust and trust his new surroundings and the people in them.

Start by giving him a safe space where he can retreat if he’s feeling overwhelmed or scared, such as a quiet room with familiar objects like toys or bedding, and plenty of treats to help build up a positive association.

Give him some downtime to start with, so he can regroup and try to calm himself down. I usually don’t do anything with a newly adopted rescue dog for the first few days, other than feeding them and taking them out for bathroom breaks (obviously).

But things like walks, meeting other pets, exploring the home, the dog park, and going in the car to the pet store can all wait. You have the rest of the dog’s lifetime to enjoy all those things, so there’s no rush to do all that on the first day.

(Note: if he’s fearful of other dogs and/or people, the dog park is probably not the place for him.)

When you feel he’s a bit more settled in and ready to branch out a bit, introduce him slowly to new people and environments, giving him time to warm up and adjust at his own pace.

Don’t force him into situations that make him uncomfortable, and always offer lots of praise and a tasty treat (ideally, treats will be on tap to start with) for positive reinforcement when he experiences something new without fear.

I’ve gone into great detail on this in another article, 20 tips on how to get a scared dog to trust you. But let’s look at a couple of the most important points here too.

Safety first

The most important thing of all is to provide an environment where your new dog feels safe.

First of all, who knows what he’s been through before he got to the sanctuary of your home, not to mention the possible stress of an uncertain (and often very noisy and stressful) stay in an animal shelter?

From there, he’s usually piled into a car with people he doesn’t know, taken somewhere he’s never been before, and exposed to a whole bunch of new situations.

He may never have seen a mirror, or a TV, or a shiny metal bowl, or walked across shiny hardwood floors. It’s all new to him and he has no control over any of it. That would be scary for anyone.

But once you get him home, you can immediately start to show him he’s safe and that this is how his life will be from now on. No more uncertainty, no more having things happen to you that you have no control over. And if your pup feels safe, he can start to relax.

Feeling safe is incredibly important. It sets the foundation for everything else that follows. It helps the dog feel confident, sets him up to be able to learn new things, and shows him he can start putting his trust in his new people.

Time and space

It’s a cliche I know, but the other most important thing you can do is give your dog time and space.

First of all, as I said earlier, he should have his own safe space (preferably a quiet room, like a spare bedroom or bathroom) that he can retreat to whenever he wants to.

When he’s in there he can chill out and nap to his heart’s content, knowing that no one is going to bother him. He’ll come back out when he’s ready to interact.

Starting out this way is a surefire way of letting your dog know he can control what happens to him and make his own choices based on his preferences at the time.

This will empower him to make his own decisions and boost his confidence no end. It’s also a vital part of his welfare and overall well-being.

When you let your dog set the pace, he’ll feel safe and in control, which is crucial for a scared rescue dog. So take it slow, let him get to know you on his own terms.

Every dog is different and each dog may need more or less time to adjust and feel at ease in his new home.

Is my dog saying yes or no?

A consent test is a simple way of finding out whether a dog wants to engage in something or not.

For example, if a dog wants to interact with you, he’ll probably approach you and maybe paw at you to get some attention. So he’s saying “Yes, please pet me now.”

Whereas if you try to hug him and he feels trapped and scared, he may try to wriggle his way out of it. Or he may just lean or look away, with a stiffened body and dilated pupils.

Worst case scenario, he may bite if he’s really scared and feels he can’t escape (fight or flight, remember?). What he’s saying here is “No thank you, I don’t want you to hug me right now. In fact, I may never want you to hug me!”

Dogs also change their minds, so a yes may become a no, and a no may become a yes. Try to be aware of any changes in his behavior, body language, and facial expression and react accordingly before things go too far south.

Only engage in or continue an interaction if the dog is happy and comfortable with it and never force him to do anything he’s not comfortable with.

By using consent testing, your dog will learn that he can trust you.

Can a nervous dog be rehabilitated?

Absolutely, with patience and the right techniques, a scared rescue dog can certainly be rehabilitated.

It’s one of the most rewarding things ever to watch them as they learn to feel happy and safe in their new surroundings with their new family members.

It may take time for a dog to fully adjust, but by setting him up for success right from the start, most dogs can learn to overcome their fears.

How do you get a rescue dog to trust you?

There’s a caveat to all this. Some dogs will overcome their fears to an extent, but not completely. I’ll give the example of our terrified Saluki-cross Louis, who we adopted in Dubai.

Louis was a sweet gentle soul who’d sidle up next to me and paw at me for attention when I was sitting at my desk working.

I’d scratch his head, especially his ears which he loved, and suddenly I’d feel his muzzle whip past my hand and his teeth graze my skin, deep enough to draw blood.

You can be sure I paid attention from then on! I realized that Louis would love the attention (he was saying yes) until the point where it became a bit too overwhelming for him (his yes changed to a no).

Problem was, I wasn’t looking so didn’t realize.

He could have walked away instead (flight), but instead chose to stay and snap at my hand (fight). I can’t be sure why but I suspect this was based on negative early learning experiences.

Poor Louis had spent the first two years of his life chained up to a tent in the desert. He then spent his next two years feeling terrified in the dog shelter. When you look at it like that, his fearful behavior makes total sense – but was obviously not pleasant!

My job then was to figure out the point where Louis started to change his mind about the petting, and stop well before he got to that point.

Once I started really looking, I saw that he gave a minuscule raise of his top lip, a curl so minimal it was barely noticeable, when he was starting to feel overwhelmed. That was my cue to stop.

Actually, my cue to stop was before he got to that point, and instead make sure our interactions always ended on a positive note. So that’s what I did and that’s how Louis learned he could trust me.

What was the caveat I hear you ask? The caveat was that although Louis learned to trust me, he still didn’t trust anyone else. That meant if you had visitors to the home he’d do the same thing: solicit attention and then snap at them.

If you took him out and about, you had to be sure not to let anyone approach him. I won’t even go into the whole stress of going to the vet!

Personally, I didn’t mind that he wasn’t sociable with other people. We lived in the country and we were able to give him a lovely life where he felt safe. If he didn’t want to meet new people it didn’t bother me at all.

He was who he was and that was fine with me. We found a way to live with and manage our dog’s fear so he could still live his best life. In the end, we were lucky enough to share a very happy 13 years.

How long does it take for a dog to adjust to a new home?

Every rescue dog is different and will adjust at his own pace. It may take weeks or even months for some dogs to feel comfortable in their new surroundings.

Don’t be discouraged if it takes longer for your rescue dog to feel at ease. Just keep offering love, support, and positive reinforcement as he adjusts to his new home.

The 3-3-3 rule

The 3-3-3 rule can be helpful as a general guideline for what new adopted rescue dog owners can expect in the first three days, first three weeks, and first three months after they bring their pup home.

There’s no “one-size-fits-all” deal when it comes to integrating your new furry friend into his forever home. However, the 3-3-3 rule can provide a benchmark to help pet parents manage their expectations and understand how the dog feels during the adjustment period.

Some dogs will take longer than others, even a lot longer, and that’s absolutely fine.

I’ve written elsewhere (again, see 20 tips on how to get a scared dog to trust you) about how Florence was so terrified she spent a whole month in a bathroom when we first adopted her. Now she’s a happy, confident dog living her best life.

The trick was to set up her new environment so she felt safe, give her space, and not rush her. It may not sound very glamorous or fancy but it definitely works!

Help, my dog is scared of me

If your rescue dog is scared of you, don’t take it personally. He just needs some time to adjust and build trust with you.

Start by giving him space (yes, it’s that word again) and not approaching or trying to touch him if he is scared. Instead, keep interactions brief, offer him treats, and try to engage him in a game such as playing with a toy or throwing treats for him to chase.

Play is a great way to switch a dog’s emotional state. Don’t worry if he’s too scared to play initially though. That will also come in time.

Avoid any actions that may startle or scare him (e.g. loud noises, shouting), talk to him quietly and calmly, and gradually work on building a bond with him by building up positive associations with your presence.

Remember to be patient as it may take time for your rescue dog to trust you. It’ll be worth it in the end, trust me.

Nervous system hacks

Let’s take a moment to consider the vagus nerve. The vagus nerve is a cranial nerve that interfaces with the parasympathetic control of the heart, lungs, and digestive tract (Wikipedia, 2022).

The vagus nerve acts as a kind of “neural brake” so that when it’s activated “it calms you down,” says Porges (2017).

Why do we need to know this?

Because by breathing deeply we can slow down our heart rate and activate sensors in the lungs that, in turn, activate the vagus nerve and tell the brain it’s okay to be calm (Porges, 2017).

“Heart rate, attentiveness, and respiratory rate are all linked,” says renowned veterinarian and applied animal behaviorist Dr. Karen Overall.

“If we can teach a human or a dog to take slower, deeper breaths, they relax, their heart rate decreases, and they can be more attentive to focusing on the task at hand.

“These responses are all coupled to changes in hormonal and other chemical signals that shift the brain’s and body’s reactivity from a system ready to act on a threat to one ready to focus on learning, not reacting.” (See the Resources below if you want to learn how to teach your dog to breathe more slowly and deeply).

In addition, soft eye contact, speaking in a friendly tone, and even listening to some calming music can all help to increase a dog’s sense of safety. And feeling safe can “jump-start the healing process,” says Porges.

What causes a dog to be scared of everything?

There can be a variety of reasons why a rescue dog may be fearful, such as past abuse or neglect, lack of socialization, negative experiences, or even a genetic predisposition.

We may never know the reason and in a way, it doesn’t matter. We can only work with what we have now. I find it’s best to avoid making assumptions.

It’s beyond my realm of expertise but there is a whole range of medications that can help dogs overcome their fears. Obviously, this would be something you’d discuss with your vet or veterinary behaviorist.

In such cases, it’s my recommendation that you also work with an accredited dog trainer or behavior consultant who can provide you and your dog with a tailor-made behavior modification program to work in conjunction with the meds.

Help, I adopted a dog and now I regret it

Adopting a rescue dog is a big decision and commitment, and sometimes it may not work out as planned.

If you find yourself regretting your decision to adopt, it’s important to take a step back and evaluate the situation. Are there any specific issues or concerns that are causing your regret? Can they be addressed through training or seeking professional help?

Remember that rescue dogs may have had difficult pasts and may need extra patience and support as they adjust to their new home.

If you feel unable to provide the love and care your rescue dog needs, consider reaching out to a local shelter or rescue organization for assistance in finding a new home for him.

Above all, never abandon your rescue dog or leave him at a shelter without proper resources and support to help him find a new loving home.

As a pet owner, it’s important to fully consider the responsibility and commitment that comes with adopting a rescue dog before making the decision to do so.

And if you do find yourself regretting your adoption, seek resources and assistance in finding your rescue dog a new loving home where he can thrive.

Case Study: Maggie – The dog we nearly returned, but didn’t

Let me tell you one last quick story. When we adopted Maggie (that’s her at the top of the page too) we already had four dogs. We certainly weren’t looking for a fifth, but she was miserable in the shelter where I was volunteering at the time.

She didn’t do well with other dogs so she would be taken outside and put in a pen by herself.

Because of her abandonment issues and separation anxiety, she would bark because she didn’t like to be left alone. And so they would bring her inside again, cognizant of trying to keep noise levels down.

She would look balefully at me during our little training sessions and beg me to help her. Yes, those expressive big brown eyes really could talk!

What could I do? I decided to foster her (and we all know how that ends).

We brought her home one Saturday afternoon and did all the careful introductions with the other dogs. It went great. They all went back inside the house together. That went great. They had dinner. That went great. We took them all back out before bedtime for their bathroom break. That went great too.

Until it didn’t.

Something happened and suddenly Maggie and Daisy were fighting, with the other dogs hovering on the periphery barking and lunging. It was dark and we’d been too complacent, not really paying attention to what the dogs were doing.

We were able to break them apart and get them back inside. But everyone was so amped up we couldn’t risk having them in the same room together. And Maggie had already let us know she didn’t want to be in her safe space on her own.

It was midnight by now and we had to hurriedly come up with some sort of arrangement to keep everyone apart so they’d all feel safe and could calm down.

Our mistake? We’d done far too much far too soon. Maggie was so stressed from her time in the shelter and needed time to regroup before doing anything else.

The situation was no better the next day, and it was so stressful for all of us we seriously considered driving her back to the shelter. But I felt that if we did that, they’d classify her as “an aggressive dog” and there was the risk they’d have her euthanized. I absolutely could not have that.

We decided to regroup and work out a plan to reintroduce the dogs, while carefully managing them the rest of the time.

It was a lot of work and effort and not without its challenges and stresses, but it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

Maggie was a dog in a million. She was up for everything at any time. She embraced life full on, a bull in a china shop, and couldn’t wait to see what was around the next corner. We had so much fun with her and she made us laugh every single day.

My advice to you? Don’t deprive yourself of something potentially so amazing that will change your life. Go back, think again, and figure out how you can do things differently.

And there are so many amazing trainers and behavior consultants out there who can help. You don’t have to do it alone.

Resources

• The Polyvagal Theory: The New Science of Safety and Trauma [Video] – Nerd Nite/Seth Porges
• Teaching Your Dog Calm, Slow Breathing – Nancy Kerns
• Vagus nerve – Wikipedia
• WRAP UP – Animal Emotions/Module 9 [Educational Course] – Dr. Karolina Westlund/Illis Animal Behaviour Courses

You may also be interested in:

• 10 Proven Ways To Win Your Rescue Dog’s Heart (And Trust)
• 12 Tips On How To Socialize A Rescue Dog With Humans
• 20 Tips On How To Get A Scared Dog To Trust You
• Adopting A Rescue Dog: 20 Tips For The First Seven Days 
• How Long Does It Take For A Rescue Dog To Trust You? (4 Real-Life Examples!)

NEED A DOG TRAINER OR BEHAVIOR EXPERT?

If you need more help dealing with a training or behavior issue, please find professional help from a force-free dog trainer who can consult with you either in person or remotely.

GOOD PLACES TO START ARE:
- COAPE Association of Pet Behaviourists and Trainers
- Pet Dog Trainers of Europe
- International Companion Animal Network
- Institute of Modern Dog Trainers
- Pet Professional Guild 

All dog owners deserve to have successful relationships with their canine companions!