How To Tell If Two Cats Are Bonded (10 Signs)
It’s a common belief that cats don’t enjoy the company of other cats, but that’s not necessarily true.
While there are cats who prefer to lead a solitary existence, many cats are social creatures who can – and do – coexist quite happily with other cats in the same home even if they’re not best buddies.
But some cats form really close bonds with each other, especially if they are siblings who grew up together or kittens from different litters who have been together from a young age.
Bonded pairs can also be a mother and her offspring (if they are lucky enough to stay together), and unfamiliar pairs who are adopted into the same home and become bonded over time.
10 Signs Your Cats Are Friends
#1. Relaxed body language
Cats who are bonded with each other will often have relaxed body language around each other. This can include:
- Relaxed body posture (may be stretched out)
- Ears in a natural position
- Tail upright with tip curved (if standing)
- Tail held out loosely from the body (if sitting)
- Eyes normal shape or partly closed
- Mouth closed
- Slow blinks
- Soft facial expressions (RSPCA)
#2. Hanging out together
Bonded cats are often seen hanging out in the same vicinity, either inside the home or outdoors. If you see two cats spending a lot of time together, it’s a good sign they’re bonded.
I see this a lot with our cats who may hang out in the same barn for a few hours, or sit under the same bush for a while.
#3. Going outside together
Another sign of a strong bond is if the cats go outside together. They may explore the same areas together or just stay close enough that they know where the other is, but engage in some solitary exploring or hunting as well.
Several of our adult cats also like to join us on our dog walks on occasion and they walk along in procession behind us.
#4. Playing
Bonded cats will often play together with no signs of aggression. They may take turns being the hunter and the prey, wrestle with each other, or chase a toy together. Even if the play gets a little heated it’s unlikely to boil over into aggression.
If they do get a little over-aroused, a bonded pair will usually take a break to calm down before resuming, rather than resort to fighting.
#5. Sharing food dishes
When cats eat out of the same food bowls or drink from the same water bowl at the same time, it’s a good sign they’re bonded.
While cats may often eat near each other but from different dishes, it’s rare in my experience for them to eat from the same bowl at the same time as another cat.
#6. Grooming each other
One of the surest signs that your feline friends are bonded is if they frequently groom each other.
Cats are fastidious creatures and spend a large amount of time every day grooming themselves. When they groom each other, it’s a sign of affection and trust. If you see your cats taking turns licking each other clean, it’s a good sign that they’re bonded.
Grooming usually involves licking or washing the other cat on the head and neck area (van den Bos, 1998). I’ve also often seen our cats pulling out small knots of fur or something that’s tangled in the other cat’s fur.
This type of social grooming in the same species is known as allogrooming.
#7. Rubbing against each other
When cats rub their heads or bodies against each other, it’s called allorubbing. When they do this, they’re leaving their scent on the other cat as well as picking up the other cat’s scent. This helps to reinforce their bond with each other.
Cats have scent glands on their chin, cheeks, lips, and forehead and when they rub on things, people, or other cats, they deposit pheromones.
Pheromones are “odorless, colorless chemical signals used as a form of intraspecies [i.e. between cats] scent communication. When detected they cause physiological and behavioral changes.” (Marek, 2022).
Pheromones have a “broad range of purposes that include alarm signaling, mating, social interactions, territory marking, and maternal bonding. Cats of all sizes send and receive messages via the pheromone message board.” (Marek, 2022).
According to Johnson-Bennett, the scent glands around the cat’s face are identified as “friendly or low-intensity” and are used “when a cat is marking familiar objects he considers part of his turf, or when he’s depositing scent as a bonding gesture such as when head bunting.”
So when your cats are rubbing against each other, they’re reaffirming their bond and marking each other as part of their social group.
#8. Resting close to each other
Bonded cats often like to rest or sleep next to each other or in the same general vicinity. They may also make physical contact that may be more back-to-back or full-on totally intertwined.
It depends on how deep the bond is and how much the cats trust and feel secure with each other.
#9. Intertwining tails
You may see your cats intertwining their tails when they’re resting or walking along together. This is a sign of affection and can also help them keep track of each other’s whereabouts.
A cat’s tail plays an important role in communication and can convey a variety of messages depending on how it’s held.
For example, (as seen in #1) a relaxed tail held low is a sign of contentment while a tail held high and twitching back and forth is a sign of excitement or agitation.
#10. Calling each other
If your cats frequently vocalize to each other, it’s a good sign they’re bonded.
When our cats call out to each other, they often use a trilling sound which is a sign of friendliness. It’s similar to the way mother cats call their kittens.
Our cats Mini Me and Kasper, who were both rescued as tiny kittens off the street in Dubai, have transferred this behavior to me.
Whenever they were (Mini Me)/are (Kasper) looking for me they go round the house plaintively meowing until I call out to them and they come running. I guess that’s a sign they’re bonded with me!
How long does it take for cats to bond?
This depends on a number of factors, including the cat’s genetics, his early learning experiences, his social skills, how you set up his new environment, and how you introduce him to the resident cat.
Some cats may form a deep bond quickly while others may take longer. If you have adopted a new cat, it’s important to do a gradual introduction and set up their new surroundings in a way that will give both him and the resident cat the best chance of success.
Do all cats form bonds with other cats?
Not all cats form bonds with other cats. Some cats are content to live as lone wolves and have no interest in socializing with other cats. And some cats may only form bonds with one or two other cats while remaining indifferent to the rest.
Cats that have had negative experiences with other cats, either through bullying or fighting, or who had little experience of other cats when they were kittens, may be less likely to want to socialize. And some cats may simply be more independent by nature and not feel the need for close companionship with others of their kind.
But each cat is an individual and there’s no one-size-fits-all. It’s quite common for a cat to get one with some of the cats in the household and not others. This seems to be more based on temperament and individual personalities, with no particular age or gender preference.
My completely unscientific observation (based on our experience of adopting several rescue cats over the years and also rescuing cats off the street when we lived in Dubai) is that the cats we’ve adopted from rescues (who either grew up in or have some experience of living in a home environment) are generally less likely to have antagonistic relationships with any of the other resident cats, compared to the street cats.
Having said that, several of our Dubai street cats have formed close bonds with one another and enjoy hanging out together.
Should I adopt a bonded pair of cats?
Yes, absolutely, if you can! Adopting a bonded pair of cats can be easier than adopting a single cat because they’re already used to each other’s company and will play together and help keep each other entertained.
Plus it’s adorable to see them cuddle up together and you won’t have to worry about them being bored or lonely when you go out.
Should I only adopt one of a bonded pair?
I personally think you shouldn’t break up a bonded pair. Animal shelters and rescues will usually try to adopt out bonded pairs together and offer a “two for the price of one” deal, but may also be prepared to separate them if it means at least one cat has the chance of a good home.
Separating a cat from his best friend could have a devastating effect on him, both emotionally and physically, and place him in a highly stressful situation. When a cat has formed a close bond with another cat, to suddenly find that his buddy’s no longer around for reasons he doesn’t understand can cause him immense anxiety and emotional pain.
Anatomically, the emotional systems of social separation (e.g., separation anxiety, social isolation, and loneliness) are located close to those generating physical pain responses,” explains Dr. Franklin McMillan.
If you’re considering adopting only one of a bonded pair, I would urge you to rethink your decision and try to adopt them both.
Although two cost more than one, in food and veterinary care, they’ll be great company for each other, play together, hang out together and be a wonderful source of companionship for each other, leading to a happy, enriched life in their new home
What if one of my bonded cats dies?
If you have lost one of your cats, it’s natural to worry about the impact it will have on the surviving cat. If the bond between them was strong, the loss of his companion can be devastating and may cause him to go through a grieving process.
You may see signs of depression and find that your remaining cat stops eating for a while, becomes lethargic, or hides away and loses interest.
You can help your surviving cat through this difficult time by providing him with extra love and attention.
Dr. Karolina Westlund explains that gentle touch “leads to an activation of the parasympathetic nervous system, with a cascade of feel-good chemicals infusing the body – and this, in turn, has a domino effect of healing responses.”
Make sure too that you stick to the routine he’s used to and try to engage him in play to elevate his emotional state. Even if he only plays passively, say by watching a prey toy with his eyes as you pull it along the floor, it can still be effective and alleviate signs of stress.
You may also want to consider adopting a second cat so he still has a feline companion to keep him company but be sure to do your research first and introduce any new cats slowly to avoid any hostilities.
We have had three very bonded pairs over the years.
1. George and Loulou (siblings)
When George died, Loulou, who was always the more independent one, seemed to cope well. She still had feline companionship in our rescued street kitten Mini Me, and she appeared to be very accepting of the entire situation.
2. Spencer and Finlay (siblings – we think)
When Finlay died, Spencer went round the house meowing and looking for him. We assume they were brothers as they moved into our front yard off the street in Dubai at the same time.
Soon after that, we moved house and Spencer went missing for three months. We never gave up and were very lucky to find him again after much searching. He slotted back into life at home and was definitely relieved to be back after his lengthy excursion.
3. Magnus and Jethro (BFFs)
When Magnus died, Jethro really lost his best buddy. Jethro was rescued from a bad situation in Los Angeles and was very wary around humans but loved other cats.
We adopted them three years apart and he and Magnus became inseparable, so much so that when Magnus was there, Jethro would quite happily allow me to pet him and even pick him up. He would never do that if he was alone but they had such a special relationship that Magnus gave him the confidence he needed.
With Magnus gone, Jethro retreated into himself, although he also had a looser bond with our cat Oakley. They would play and hang out together which helped somewhat, but it wasn’t the same.
Fast forward three years and Spencer and Jethro now have a special bond and curl up and sleep together. You could say they bonded in grief.
Final thoughts
Cats are often thought of as independent creatures who don’t need the companionship of other animals. But the truth is, many cats do form bonds with their human companions and with other cats.
The points I’ve outlined above will give a good indication that your cats are bonded. If you see them engaging in any of these behaviors, chances are good that they’ve formed a strong bond with each other and consider each other as a family member.
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Resources
- A World of Hurts—Is pain special? – Franklin D. McMillan, DVM, DACVIM
- Feline Pheromones: The Science Behind Them – Ramona Marek
- GRIEF – Animal Emotions/Module 3 [Educational Course] – Dr. Karolina Westlund/Illis Animal Behaviour Courses
- How Cats Use Scent Communication – Pam Johnson-Bennett
- The Function of Allogrooming in Domestic Cats (Felis silvestris catus): A study in a group of cats living in confinement – Ruud van den Bos
- What does my cat’s body language mean? – RSPCA
