When One Dog Dies: What Your Other Dogs Are Really Feeling
As a long-term dog lover and caretaker of multiple dogs, I’ve experienced the heartbreaking loss of a beloved canine companion more times than I care to remember. It’s a gut-wrenching experience that leaves you feeling empty and adrift. But it’s not just humans who feel the absence. What happens to the dogs left behind?
Grieving Through a Dog’s Eyes
Grief is a complex emotional response to loss marked by sadness, longing, and a deep sense of emptiness. It’s a natural process that helps us come to terms with the absence of someone we love, and it isn’t unique to humans.
Many animals also show signs of mourning. Elephants have been seen standing vigil over their dead, geese and primates often withdraw and stop playing, and dolphins have even been observed carrying their deceased young for days or weeks.
Recognizing When Your Dog Is Grieving
Do dogs grieve the loss of a companion? The short answer is yes. Research shows that dogs form strong emotional bonds, both with their owners and other dogs, and the loss of these bonds can trigger a range of behavioral and emotional changes.
When our beloved rescue dog, Florence, passed away suddenly last year, the mood in our home shifted overnight. The other three dogs grew quiet and withdrawn, especially her best friend, Roman. He was devastated, and it took months for him to find his spark again. The others recovered faster, probably because they hadn’t been with us for as long and weren’t quite as attached.
Still, the loss upset the dynamics of the household. Everyone had to reshuffle and adjust to the new reality. It was difficult to watch, but also a testament to the depth of our dogs’ emotional lives.
Is My Dog Mourning? Key Signs to Watch For
While every dog grieves in their own way, there are some common signs that can help you recognize when your pet may be mourning:
1. Behavioral Changes:
- Depression and listlessness
- Decreased appetite and refusal to eat
- Changes in sleep patterns, such as sleeping more or less than usual
- Restlessness and pacing
- Social withdrawal and loss of interest in favorite activities
2. Emotional Changes:
- Increased clinginess and need for attention
- Vocalization, such as whining, howling, or barking
- Changes in vocal patterns, such as being quieter or more vocal than usual
- Increased anxiety and stress
3. Physical Changes:
- Lethargy
- Loss of appetite
- Illness or changes in physical health
- Changes in the area where they sleep
Keep in mind that these behaviors can vary from dog to dog, and some may show little or no outward signs of grief at all.
What the ‘Mourning Dog’ Study Taught Us About Canine Emotions
It turns out this isn’t just something we dog owners are imagining. A recent study shows that dogs can grieve in ways that mirror our own emotional responses to loss.
Who Took Part and How It Worked
Researchers surveyed 426 dog owners in Italy who had recently lost a pet. Each participant was asked to describe their surviving dog’s behavior and emotional state in the weeks and months following the loss.
What We Learned About How Dogs Grieve
The study revealed that the intensity of a dog’s grief-like behaviors depended on several factors, most notably, the closeness of the bond between the two dogs and the emotional state of the owner.
Dogs that shared a particularly strong, friendly relationship with their deceased companion were more likely to show clear signs of grief. Likewise, dogs whose owners were visibly grieving tended to mirror that distress, suggesting a deep emotional connection between dogs and their humans.
Living Arrangements and Bonds
The study revealed that nearly 93% of participants said their two dogs had lived together for more than a year, suggesting that most pairs shared a long-term, meaningful bond.
Types of Relationships
When describing those relationships, owners used a variety of terms—often with overlapping qualities. About 69% said their dogs were friendly with one another, 56% described a non-agonistic (no conflict) relationship, and another 56% noted mutual tolerance. Interestingly, almost half (48%) described a “parental” dynamic, where one dog seemed to care for or look after the other.
Daily Life Together
These bonds extended into daily life. Many dogs were inseparable—66% slept close together, 49% played together, and 86% shared resting areas. Some even groomed one another (27%), shared food (36%), or played with the same toys (58%). Only a small minority—just 9%—shared nothing at all.
Behavioral and Emotional Changes After Loss
After one dog passed away, many owners noticed striking emotional and behavioral changes in the surviving dog. The most common signs included increased attention-seeking (67%), reduced playfulness (57%), and lower overall activity levels (46%). Some dogs also slept more (35%), appeared more fearful (35%), ate less (32%), or vocalized more (30%), through whining or barking.
Duration of Behavioral Changes
As for how long these changes lasted, the responses varied. About 25% of owners said the behaviors continued for more than six months, while 32% observed them for two to six months. Nearly 29% reported that the changes faded within two months, and 13% noticed no behavioral difference at all.
Making Sense of the Study’s Findings
What stands out most from the study is how deeply connected dogs become when they share their lives. These weren’t just housemates; they were friends, confidants, and companions. Whether they played together, slept curled up side by side, or simply shared the same quiet spaces, their bonds ran deep.
Even dogs that weren’t especially affectionate still seemed comforted by each other’s presence. Only a handful of pairs lived more separately, a reminder that for most dogs, closeness and companionship are an important part of their daily lives.
When Dogs Feel What We Feel
The study draws on Bowlby’s attachment theory, which explains how our earliest emotional bonds shape our sense of safety and connection throughout life.
The Italian researchers found that an owner’s attachment style, or even how strongly they viewed their dog as “part of the family,” didn’t seem to affect the surviving dog’s behavior after a loss. In other words, the dogs’ reactions were real and heartfelt, not imagined through the lens of human emotion.
Still, when owners were visibly grieving, their dogs often ate less or seemed withdrawn, as if absorbing some of that sadness themselves. It’s a powerful reminder of how attuned dogs are to our feelings, a skill shaped by thousands of years of close companionship.
Coping Strategies for Dogs Dealing with Loss
Knowing what to do (and what to avoid) can make the grieving process easier for both you and your dog.
Here are some tips and strategies that I’ve found helpful:
Offer Calm Companionship
One of the most helpful things you can do for a grieving dog is to offer calm, reassuring presence. Just make sure it’s on their terms. Some dogs may seek more closeness or gentle interaction, while others may simply prefer having you nearby or resting in the same room, or even being left alone.
If your dog enjoys it, physical touch and contact can be incredibly comforting. Cuddling, petting, and even massage can help release oxytocin, endorphins, and prolactin, which can help diminish feelings of grief and promote relaxation.
Always let your dog set the pace, and avoid overwhelming him with attention. Keep a close eye on his behavior, and if you notice ongoing distress, changes in appetite or energy levels consider consulting with a qualified canine behavior professional for additional support.
Stick to Familiar Routines
Dogs thrive on routine, and this is especially true during times of stress and grief. Familiar patterns help them feel safe and in control, providing a steady sense of predictability when everything else feels uncertain. Try to keep daily life as consistent as possible by sticking to your usual feeding, walking, and playtime schedule, and avoid sudden changes to your dog’s environment or routine. The stability can be deeply reassuring and play a key role in helping your dog regain his confidence.
Provide Physical and Mental Stimulation
Encouraging your dog to take part in enjoyable activities can support his emotional recovery and overall well-being. Gentle walks, sniffing games, or a short round of fetch can lift his spirits without overwhelming him. Mental stimulation, like food puzzles, scent games, or simple training exercises, helps keep his mind active and can ease stress and anxiety.
Play isn’t just fun. Like sniffing, it helps regulate your dog’s emotions. By promoting positive feelings, play can ease anxiety and act as a natural buffer against stress, much like physical exercise does. Choose activities your dog genuinely enjoys, and make sure you don’t overdo it. If he wants to take a break, respect that, and try again later.
Avoid Rushing to Introduce a New Pet
It may be tempting to bring a new dog into the household to help fill the void left by your lost companion. However, it’s important to allow your dog time to grieve and adjust to the loss before introducing a new pet. Rushing into a new relationship can cause additional stress and may prevent a healthy bond from forming between the new pet and the grieving dog.
Provide Closure (If Possible/Appriopriate)
In some cases, providing closure for your surviving dogs can be helpful. When our Florence passed away, we were unable to bring her back home from the emergency vet. However, the other dogs seemed to realize that she was no longer with us, perhaps because they had already been checking on her and sniffing at her when she suddenly became ill at home. Allowing your dogs to see and smell their deceased companion may help them understand and accept the loss. But it’s a personal decision and not for everyone.
Control Your Emotions
As difficult as it may be, try to control your own emotions around your grieving dog. Dogs are highly attuned to our emotional states, and seeing you in distress may add to their own anxiety and grief. Take time to process your own emotions away from your dog, and try to maintain a calm, positive demeanor when you’re together.
Allow Time for Adjustment
Grief is a gradual process, and every dog copes in his own way. Give your dog the time and space he needs to process the loss and find his footing within the new household dynamic. Patience and gentle consistency will help him gradually regain his sense of security.
Try Pheromones
Artificial pheromones can help boost your dog’s confidence and reduce stress during the grieving process. These products mimic the natural pheromones that mother dogs produce to comfort their puppies, and can have a calming effect on adult dogs too.
Dog Music
Believe it or not, music can be a powerful tool for helping dogs cope with grief. Dog-specific music, such as “Through a Dog’s Ear,” or even classical music, can help soothe your dog’s anxiety and promote a sense of calm. This may be because the music mimics the sound of a heartbeat or because the vibrations have a calming effect on the body.
Comfort Food
Finally, don’t underestimate the power of a tasty treat or special meal to help your dog feel better. Delicious flavors and special treats can activate the release of endorphins, which can help boost your dog’s mood and promote feelings of happiness and well-being. Just be sure not to overdo it, as excessive treats can lead to weight gain and other health problems.
References
- Domestic Dogs (Canis Familiaris) Grieve Over the Loss of a Conspecific – S. Uccheddu, et al.
- John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory – Saul McLeod
