How Long Does It Take For Your New Adopted Cat to Trust You?
How long it takes for an adopted cat to trust her new human companion is a tricky question to answer, given the variability between cats and their individual traits and life experiences.
Based on my many years of adopting rescue cats, I’d say a good rule of thumb is about four weeks. Some cats will bond faster than that if they’re already inclined to be confident and sociable, while those who are timid or come from difficult situations may take quite a bit longer to truly settle in.
In this article, I’ll explore some of the ways you can help your new pet to feel more secure so that, with just a few simple adjustments, you can speed up the trust-building process and get to know each other better, faster.
How do I get my adopted cat to trust me?
It can take time to get an adopted cat to feel safe in her new home and trust her new human family members but there are several steps you can take to help her along.
Safe space
The first time your bring your new kitty home, the best thing you can do is leave her alone for a while in a safe room so she has time to de-stress, regroup, and realize that she’s safe in her new environment.
You can do this by establishing a secure space for her, such as a spare room, bedroom, or bathroom – preferably in a quiet area of the home.
In the coming weeks, you’ll gradually allow kitty access to the rest of the house and investigate her new space, but for now, this will be the spot where she can retreat whenever she feels overwhelmed or just wants to chill out in peace, but for at least the first week (and maybe longer, depending on the cat), keep the door closed.
Your “cat cave” should have all the essential items – food bowl with a choice of wet and dry food, water bowl, litter tray (note – litter boxes should be kept as far away from the cat’s food and water as possible), scratching post, cozy cat bed, and toys – along with hiding places (a cardboard box makes for a good hiding place) and vertical space so kitty can also perch up high if that makes her feel safer.
I’d keep her cat carrier in there too, so she has something with her own scent on it.
Make sure any electric cords or cables are safely tucked away in case your new feline friend tries to chew on them, and it’s also a good idea to remove valuable or breakable items.
I can’t tell you how many breakages I’ve had over the years with cats jumping up onto shelves and knocking down lamps or china ornaments. Better safe than sorry!
To begin with, your new cat’s safe place should be off-limits to other pets and children. This will help her know right from the start that she’s safe and can relax, which will go a long way toward the beginnings of building a trusting relationship with you.
Time
This is the tricky bit because each cat will adjust to her new surroundings at a different pace.
To start with, you’ll just be going into your cat’s room to bring food and scoop the litter box.
You can also take this time to see if she wants to interact or not.
If she does, great. You can engage in a positive interaction like a little game, reward her with some tasty treats, or sit and pet her for a while.
These are all good ways to start building up positive associations with you being in the same space and earn your cat’s trust. From kitty’s perspective, new human = good things like food, games, attention, and treats. What could be better?
But if she hides away whenever you come in, just chat with her in a calm, quiet, and friendly manner, leave the food/scoop the box/do whatever, maybe scatter some treats, and then leave again, avoiding sudden movements.
It’s best not to make a big deal of it if she doesn’t want to come over to you. Best too not to go after her or try to lure her out of hiding.
If you do, you may end up making her feel even more stressed or anxious and she’ll try even harder to avoid you the next time.
But if you just let her be and nothing happens, she’ll be thinking, “Oh this is okay, nothing bad happens when that scary new person comes in. Maybe they are not so bad after all!”
I know it’s hard when you just want to get to know your new kitty, but trust me on this. There’s really no rush, you’ll have plenty of time to get to know each other later. You don’t need to become snuggle buddies on the very first day.
By allowing your cat to take control of her environment like this, you can help reduce her stress levels and increase her levels of comfort.
As she realizes she’s safe with you, she can learn to be relaxed in your presence. And once she does, she’ll begin to show more of an interest in interacting.
This is your opportunity to start forming a relationship with her and building up that trust. On her terms. This is key.
And if she runs away, that’s fine. She’ll be back again soon enough if you just stick with the plan.
Body language
Understanding your cat’s body language and facial expressions is essential when it comes to establishing a trusting relationship.
These both provide important clues about how your cat is feeling in the moment, which can help you better understand her.
Signs your cat is feeling frustrated, stressed, anxious, or fearful include:
- Tail flicking and twitching
- Ears flattened against the head
- Hissing or growling
- Avoidance or hiding behavior
- Stiffened fur along the spine and the tail
- Dilated pupils
- Excessive meowing
Signs she is feeling happy and content include:
- Relaxed tail position, possibly with gentle twitching at the tip
- Ears upright and facing forward
- Soft eyes and facial expression
- Slow blinking
- Rubbing or head-butting
- Purring
If you see a lot of positive body language in your cat, then it’s a good sign she’s starting to settle in, feel relaxed, and is starting to trust you.
If you see more negative signs, however, you still have a ways to go. There’s nothing wrong with this, it’s completely normal.
All cats will go at their own pace, depending on their temperament and early life experiences. So don’t stress about it, it will happen in good time!
Still not sure about reading your cat? Here’s a great little video from Fear Free Happy Homes that showcases feline body language:
Positive interactions
I touched on this earlier but it’s really important. Whenever you’re interacting with your cat, allow her to take the lead and make her own choices. If she doesn’t want to interact, then respect that and leave her alone.
Only reach out when your cat comes to you for attention or shows signs she would like to be petted. This way, you can form a trusting bond based on positive experiences – instead of fear brought on by negative associations with your touch.
In the same way, be mindful of her boundaries. If your cat doesn’t appear to be comfortable with being picked up, then leave her be.
Respecting her wishes will help build a strong bond of trust, avoid negative experiences, and prevent fearful or aggressive behavior.
Consent test
Using a consent test is the perfect way to respectfully ask your cat for permission and establish boundaries. Not only does it help you better understand her, it also strengthens the human-cat bond. A win-win situation!
How does it work? You let your cat make the decision whether she wants to interact with you or not.
For example, you hold out your hand and if your cat approaches you or rubs against it, she’s saying, “Yes, I want to interact right now.”
If she ignores you or walks off, she’s saying, “No thanks, I don’t want to interact right now.”
By using consent testing when petting your cat, you can also identify her preferred spots and how long she likes to be petted.
Cats commonly enjoy being stroked in areas where they have scent glands, such as the lips and chin, between the eyes and ears, or at the base of the tail.
As with anything, individual cats will have their individual preferences.
Always aim to end any interaction on a high note before your cat starts to get irritated or uncomfortable.
If you wait too long and start to see signs of stress like a twitching tail or stiffening muscles, it’s time to take a break. She’ll come back later on her own terms. This is key for maintaining a positive bond with your feline friend!
This video from Train with Trust is a lovely demonstration of a consent test with a cat. The cat starts off by saying “yes” but later changes his mind to “no,” with the human both understanding and respecting his wishes the entire time.
Cat language
Staring is a hostile behavior in the animal kingdom so I recommend you don’t spend too much time looking directly at your cat.
The slow blink, on the other hand, can be a great tool for building trust between humans and cats, especially cats who are shy or fearful.
The feline slow eye blink typically progresses with a series of partial blinks, after which the eyes remain narrowly opened or completely shut.
Cats use the slow blink with other cats to show they’re not a threat. You can use it too to make your kitty feel more comfortable in your presence.
Something else I have found useful – especially when interacting with cats who are wary of human hands – is the mutual head rub.
Mutual rubbing, or allorubbing, is a common behavior among cats and involves rubbing their heads or bodies against one another. Through this action, cats exchange scents that help to strengthen their bond with each other.
You can do this too! Get down on all fours and let your cat come and rub her head up against yours or along the side of your body. Let her be in complete control. This is another effective way to show your cat you’re a friend she can trust.
Play
Interacting with your cat through play is an excellent way to strengthen the bond between the two of you.
Have a variety of interactive toys available, changing them out regularly to prevent boredom and encourage exploration. Playing not only enhances your mutual connection but also builds up your cat’s confidence and mood.
A big advantage of play is that it can counteract fear and stress. Our nervous cat Jethro was rescued from a hoarding situation and is still wary of humans even after many years with us, but he’ll quite happily chase one of his wand toys or a piece of string if I pull it along the ground for him.
His predatory instincts kick in and he forgets to be wary of me in that moment – which helps him build more trust in me.
Even if your cat is too scared to play, she may follow a toy with her eyes, which will still activate her innate hunting instinct and give her a boost of dopamine.
Alternatively, she may play with toys when you’re not around or at night. This will still help her feel more confident, which is part of the foundation of her building her trust in you.
Mental stimulation
Mental stimulation is essential for cats to keep their minds engaged and a great way to prevent problem behaviors.
There are a variety of ways to provide this, such as food puzzles and treat dispensing toys, scratching posts with various angles and surfaces, a cat tree or high perch for climbing, window seats to watch birds from, hiding treats around the house, providing cat grass or an indoor sensory garden, the opportunity to explore outdoors safely, and clicker training.
All these activities can help ensure your cat’s well-being and enhance your bond. Plus, the more cats use their brains, the less they are likely to react emotionally. Again, this is one of the building blocks for helping your cat learn to trust you.
If you’re feeling brave, you can even try bonding with your cat through clicker training. There’s really no reason why this positive reinforcement training technique, which is so effective for dogs, horses, big cats, and great apes, can’t be used on our beloved domestic cats too.
Cat School Clicker Training has some great videos demonstrating how to teach your cat to high-five, come back when called, play fetch, jump on your shoulder, and more. I’d recommend giving it a try!
Routine
Cats thrive with a regular daily routine as it makes them feel safe and secure in their environment.
Changes can cause undue stress, so try to keep mealtimes regular and create a calm, peaceful atmosphere in your home.
Doing so will help your kitty feel content and secure which will help boost her levels of trust in you.
How do I know if my newly adopted cat trusts me?
You can tell if your adopted cat trusts you when she comes to greet you when you enter the room, with her tail up in a friendly gesture, meowing, purring, and looking for attention.
This shows she is comfortable with your presence and feels relaxed around you.
Other signs of trust include her sleeping near, on, or wedged up against you, playing games with you, rubbing her head against you, following you around the house or yard, or simply just hanging out with you.
These are all positive indicators your newly adopted cat is starting to bond with and trust you.
Observing her body language is also a valuable indicator of what she’s thinking and how she feels.
By taking note of cues from your cat’s behavior you should be able to get a good idea of when she is beginning to build up trust in her new human companion.
Final thoughts
I’ve been adopting cats, many of them rescues off the street, for about 20 years now. During that time, most of them have taken at least a week to start trusting me, even the kittens.
Of the adult cats, most of them took at least a month before they felt completely safe around me, and it wasn’t uncommon for several of the cats to hide away for a week or two or even three until they felt safe enough to embrace and start exploring and interacting.
At the other end of the scale, I’ve had three semi-feral cats who were so incredibly fearful it took several months to gain their trust, and even then, they were still wary.
A lot of it depends on the cat’s genetics (some cats are born fearful) and their early learning experiences.
The more handling a cat had as a kitten, the more likely she is to be sociable and friendly as an adult. So this all plays into how long it takes for an adopted cat to trust you.
Bottom line – there’s no right or wrong and no set amount of time it should take. Some cats will take longer, while some cats will take virtually no time at all. All you have to do is respect and accept your kitty for who she is, go at her pace, don’t force anything, and remain calm and patient. In her own time, she’ll come around and your bonding process will be complete.
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Resources
- Bringing up a litter of kittens: behavioural considerations – International Cat Care
- Cat Body Language 101 [Video] – Fear Free Happy Homes
- Cat – consent for petting test [Video] – Train With Trust
- How to train your cat [Video] – Cat School Clicker Training
- The role of cat eye narrowing movements in cat–human communication – Tasmin Humphrey, Leanne Proops, Jemma Forman, Rebecca Spooner, & Karen McComb
