25 Tips For Helping Your New Shy Or Fearful Cat To Adjust
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If you’re struggling with how to help your shy or fearful cat adjust to her new home, don’t worry – you’re not alone.
In this post, I’ll be sharing 25 tips that have helped me and other cat owners in similar situations.
So whether your new cat is hesitant about exploring his new surroundings, or he’s completely terrified of people and other animals, there’s something here to help you set up a smooth transition for your kitty.
How do I know if my cat is scared?
It’s very common for cats to be scared and hide away when they first arrive in their new home. They are often already stressed after being in a shelter environment with all its comings and goings, scents, and sounds, and then there’s even more stress from being cooped up in a cat box for the car ride home.
Once they get there, they don’t know if they’re going to be safe. They don’t know who the people are, there may be other pets, and all the scents and sounds are different. It’s a lot to take on all in one go!
Signs of fear in cats
You can tell how a cat is feeling by observing his behavior and body language. Some of the most common signs of fear in cats include:
- Running away
- Hiding (this may be underneath furniture, in a cupboard, or on a high shelf – anywhere it’s hard for you to access them)
- Freezing in place or making themselves appear smaller by crouching lower to the ground
- Cringing or cowering
- Arching their back and puffing up the tail
- Wide eyes with big pupils
- Tucking the tail under them or swishing the tip quickly side to side
- Moving their ears quickly (as he tries to listen) or flattening their ears close to the head
- Growling, hissing, or spitting
- Swatting, scratching, or biting
- Peeing or pooping outside the litter tray
- Not eating or drinking, and/or performing other survival functions
- Only eating, drinking, and/or performing other survival functions when there are no humans around
- Only playing with toys when there are no humans around
If your cat is exhibiting any of these behaviors, don’t despair! There are many things you can do to help him feel more comfortable and adjust to his new home. So let’s get going.
25 proven tips to help your new cat adjust
#1. The journey home
On your drive home, place the cat carrier in a secure spot on a seat or the floor. You can use the seatbelt to make sure it’s secured. A towel or blanket over the top and sides may help your new feline friend feel a bit safer but don’t cut off his view altogether.
Make sure he’s secure in his box and can’t get out and consider playing some Cat Calming Music (yes, that really is a thing!) or classical music. Other than that, just ignore him so you don’t risk adding to an already stressful situation for him. You’ll have plenty of time to get to know each other later!
#2. Arriving home
Once you get to your destination you can carry your new kitty, still safe and secure in his cat box into your home. Don’t be tempted to let him out till he’s safely inside – you may never see him again!
#3. Safe space
When you bring your new kitty home, the first thing you want to do is place him into the safe and comfortable living space you created for him before you went to collect him. This could be a bathroom, spare room, or another quiet place that no other pets have access to.
Make sure too that the room is secure and your new cat can’t escape through an open window or door. Once you’re sure the space is secured, you can place the cat carrier in a corner or against a wall (this way he doesn’t have to worry about what’s behind him) and open the door.
#4. Setting up your new cat’s environment
Make sure your adopted cat’s safe room is filled with a range of cat toys, a scratching post, a cozy cat bed, a litter box, and food and water bowls. Food and water dishes should be placed away from the litter tray as cats don’t like to eat near their bathroom. I mean, who does?
His new environment should ideally also contain hidey holes (e.g. cardboard boxes) and vertical space such as cat trees or high shelves so the cat can choose where he prefers to retreat.
#5. Collar and tags
Your cat will already have been microchipped by the cat shelter or rescue but you may need to register as his new owner with the microchip registry. The rescue organization will give you this information.
While Cats Protection does not recommend putting a collar on your cat for safety reasons, you may still wish to do this if you’re worried he may get out or want to make sure he has some visible ID just in case. If so, “the safest collars for cats are the ‘quick release’ or snap opening collars” so your cat won’t get stuck or hurt if the collar gets caught anywhere.
If your cat is wearing a collar, it’s a good idea to attach a lightweight tag with his name, address, and phone number on it. You can either write these out by hand or get them printed in many pet stores.
Personally, I like the Breakaway Cat Collars you can personalize with your cat’s name and phone number embroidered directly onto them.
#6. Familiar scent
If possible, use the towel or blanket or whatever else was in the bottom of your cat’s travel box as part of his bedding so he has something which has his own scent.
You can also see if your shy cat is responsive to catnip. Not all cats are, but some go into ecstasy over it!
#7. Feliway®
Feliway is a synthetic copy of the feline facial pheromone and can be very helpful in reducing stress in cats. You can buy a diffuser that will emit the pheromone into the air, and this will help your cat to feel more relaxed in his new home.
#8. Rescue Remedy
Rescue Remedy® is a herbal remedy that can be very effective in reducing stress in animals. It’s available from most health food stores. Just add a few drops to your cat’s drinking water or some wet food.
#9. Provide a variety of resources
Although it’s best to provide the same type of food your cat was eating at the shelter or in his foster home, you can gradually introduce different types of food and see what he likes.
It’s also a good idea to have different types of scratch posts (horizontal/diagonal/vertical and cardboard/sisal/carpet) as each cat has his own preference.
Same thing with cat litter and litter boxes. Different cats prefer different types of cat litter and, in my experience, all cats prefer a larger litter tray than the ones commonly sold for cats in pet stores. We use large plastic storage boxes from the DIY store instead.
#10. Do nothing
This is the easy part! If your new pet doesn’t immediately want to come out of his cat carrier and explore, that’s fine. If he comes out and finds a new hiding place, let him. Don’t try to lure him out or down from wherever he’s gone to make himself feel safe.
This is how he will start to learn that he can trust you and that he’s safe with you. Once you’ve got him safely installed in his own space, leave the room and give him some time to calm down and regroup, and explore if he wants to.
#11. Avoid loud noises
While your kitty will need to start getting used to regular household sounds, like the TV or people chatting, I would avoid loud noises like vacuuming or any kind of DIY to avoid startling your cat and creating additional stress.
#12. Start building positive associations
Pop in now and then to see how your kitty’s doing. If he wants to come and hang out with you, then that’s great. Give him some tasty treats or play a little game with him. Different family members can go in at different times, so he can start to get used to the new people in his life and enjoy positive experiences with them.
If he’s hiding or isn’t yet ready to approach you then just accept that for now. There’s no need to rush.
If you have some yummy treats he may want to come and get them but still feel scared. Try to avoid making him feel conflicted by placing the treats closer to him and then retreating, so he doesn’t feel like he has to take the risk of coming too close to the scary new person.
#13. Stay calm – and don’t stare
Staring is a hostile behavior in cats, so instead focus on making soft eye contact with your new kitty. This means making brief eye contact, then looking away, looking again, looking away etc. You can also briefly close your eyes/blink slowly, which is an appeasement gesture in cats and shows you’re not a threat.
Move slowly and don’t make sudden movements. Be calm around him and talk to him in a quiet voice.
#14. Watch your cat’s body language
Watch for signs of anxiety or fearful behavior in your kitty. I usually just sit on the floor for a while, turned away from them and ignoring them. That way I can let them control any interactions. If they want to engage with me, that’s fine. If not, that’s fine too. It will come in time.
#15. Consent tests
Give your kitty the choice whether he wants to approach you or not, and if/where he wants to be petted. Don’t crowd him or try to kiss and hug him, or pick him up. This can all come later once he feels more secure and knows he can trust you.
#16. Establish routine
Cats love daily routine. It makes them feel secure. So, try to stick to regular mealtimes and create a calm, predictable atmosphere in your home.
#17. Cat music
If your cat seems stressed, try playing that Cat Calming Music or some classical music. Our Loulou was especially partial to Swan Lake and always relaxed whenever I played it.
#18. Give your cat time
Don’t expect your kitty to suddenly feel at home after a few days – it can take weeks or even months for a shy or fearful cat to really settle in. Just take things at your kitty’s own pace and let him dictate the terms of your interactions.
#19. Reward good behavior
Whenever your kitty does something you want him to do, such as coming out of his hiding spot or using the litter tray, make sure to give him a tasty treat to reinforce the behavior.
#20. Encourage play
Play is an essential part of an animal’s development and helps build confidence, creating a buffer against stress. Playing can change a cat’s emotional state from one of fear to one of happiness. (Westlund, 2021).
If your new cat isn’t yet ready to play, just leave the cat toys in his room. He may play with them when you’re not there.
#21. Mental enrichment
Providing mental stimulation (e.g. through food puzzle toys, wand toys, or chasing games that allow the cat to tap into his instinctual predatory behavior) is a great way to get your cat to use his brain, helping him to stay calm and relaxed.
#22. Slow introductions to his new territory
The next step is to slowly introduce your new cat to his new surroundings. You can start by leaving the door to his room open and letting him come out to explore the rest of the house when he’s ready. Allow him to retreat to his safe space whenever he wants to and make sure it’s available to him at all times.
#23. Don’t introduce other pets yet
If there are other pets in the house, keep them separated from the new cat until she’s feeling more comfortable. It’s also important to keep all interactions with a resident cat or dog very calm and positive. Short interactions at a safe distance both animals are relaxed about is the way to start.
#24. Going outdoors
If you’re going to let your cat go outside start with a harness and long line. Don’t let him go outside till he knows and trusts you, knows his home, and knows his name.
#25. Have patience
This is the most important thing of all! Work to your cat’s timeline and don’t rush things. Every cat is different and will adjust to his new home in his own time. It can be a slow process and could take days, weeks, or even months for him to fully settle. And that’s absolutely fine. Your patience will be rewarded many times over in the long run.
How can I help my cat overcome their shyness?
If you get really stuck, Friends for Life Animal Shelter in Houston, Texas has some amazing videos demonstrating their Fraidy Cat Program, where they work with the most fearful cats and help them overcome their shyness.
Some of the behaviors they train are finger targeting, shaping relaxed behavior, rewarding eye contact, and allowing cat to choose their treats. Their work is incredibly inspiring and I highly recommend taking a look.
Final thoughts
If you’re adopting a new cat, or have a cat that is fearful or shy, there are so many things you can do to help him adjust.
From providing a safe space for them to relax in, to slowly introducing him to his new surroundings, with patience and kindness you can help your kitty feel comfortable and secure in his new home. And don’t forget the importance of play – it can help to change his emotional state from one of fear to one of excitement and joy!
Once your kitty seems more relaxed and less fearful, it’s important to continue with your patience and understanding, and not push him too far too fast. He needs to feel confident that he can trust you and that he can come to you when he feels scared. With time, patience and time, you will build a strong bond with your furry friend so he can be a confident and happy cat and live his best life – just as he deserves.
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Resources
- Another way out: Friends For Life’s Fraidy Cat Program – Melissa Taylor and Alese Zeman
- Cats and phobias – PDSA
- Choosing a cat collar – Cats Protection
- Fraidy Cat Program – Friends for Life Animal Shelter
- PLAY – Animal Emotions/Module 4 [Educational Course] – Dr. Karolina Westlund/Illis Animal Behaviour Courses
- Shy Cats – Cats Protection
- What are cat pheromones? – Feliway
