Do Men Make Your Dog Nervous? Here’s Why (And What You Can Do)

I’ll never forget the day I was doing some volunteer training sessions at my local dog shelter, when a lady suddenly showed up at the gate with a dear little black dog in tow.

Turns out she was returning him.

Because he was scared of her husband.

The dog (let’s call him Milo) had apparently bonded with the lady and kids, but would hide under the bed whenever the husband was around.

Sadly, this issue was so unacceptable for this particular family that they felt compelled to return this perfect dog — after only a couple of weeks.

The lady was in tears.

Between you and me, I got the impression she wasn’t totally onboard with the decision.

But I felt saddest for Milo, losing out on the chance to live in his forever home for something that could so easily have been overcome, if they’d only given him more time to adjust.

Dogs can develop a number of fears and phobias, and it’s certainly not uncommon for them to be scared of men.

However, in most cases, they can learn to love their human dads.

They just need the time and space to build up their trust and learn there’s nothing to worry about.

It’s a shame Milo never got that chance.

Last I heard, he was still at the shelter.

Why Are So Many Dogs Afraid of Men?

Here are some of the most common reasons your dog may be scared of men:

Unpacking Past Experiences

If your dog has had negative experiences with men in the past, she may remain wary of them for a long time, potentially her whole life.

Specifically, dogs that have been mistreated by a male figures can develop intense anxiety and (mistakenly) believe all men are a threat.

As a result, they may behave aggressively around men as a defense mechanism.

Negative past experiences have a profound influence on a dog’s behavior, even if circumstances have changed and the threat is no longer present.

The good news is, even if your pup doesn’t warm up to every man she meets, she can still learn to trust the males in her family home, as well as friends and relatives she gets to know and learns to trust over time.

The Impact of Poor Socialization

The critical period for socialization in puppies is between 3 weeks to about 14 weeks of age.

During this time, puppies’ brains are like sponges, soaking up everything they experience and filing it away for the future. 

Anything they experience positively during this period will be something they are comfortable with for the rest of their lives

If a dog is not exposed to men during this critical window, she may grow up to be afraid of them.

Our rescue dog, Roxy, spent the first two years of her life in the shelter, with minimal exposure to unfamiliar people and environments.

When we brought her home for the first time, she barked at news readers on the TV, her own reflection, and yes, my poor husband.

It took several weeks for her to understand that he wasn’t a threat and was never going to hurt her.

Even then, I was forever more her favorite, most trusted person.

Is Your Dog Protecting Resources?

Resource guarding is a common behavior in dogs, and it’s not unheard of for dogs to guard their food, bed, resting area, toys, and even their owners.

In other words, a dog might perceive any males in the home as a threat to her valuable resources (in this instance, her female caretaker or buddy).

This means she may become protective and fearful when any of the resident human males are around.

Examples of resource guarding behavior include growling, staring, snapping, or the dog standing between her favorite female owner and the approaching man.

My husband was always the favorite in the eyes of another of our rescue dogs, Maggie.

However, if I was lying on the sofa with her and he happened to approach, she would make it very clear she wanted him to back off.

In that particular context, she was guarding me from him.

Even though in just about every other instance, she’d ignore me in favor of his attention.

Fearful Behaviors They’ve Learned

Dogs are highly attuned to their owners’ emotions and behaviors.

If your dog detects any signs of unease or caution from you around men (or certain men), she might start to believe those men might be scary.

Over time she may learn from your behavior that some men could be a threat, which makes her act scared or uneasy around them—even if she hasn’t experienced any negative encounters herself.

Do Dogs See Men Differently?

Men and women usually have different physical characteristics and behaviors, which dogs pick up on.

I know I’m generalizing here, but we have to consider things from the dog’s point of view, so bear with me.

Some dogs find men’s larger size, deeper (louder?) voices, and even their facial hair to be intimidating.

Compared to women and children, who generally have softer voices and smaller statures, men can seem more threatening.

This difference in perception can cause dogs to react fearfully to men, again, even if they have no past negative experiences.

Something in the Way Men Move?

Subtle differences in the way men and women move might be another reason why some dogs are afraid of men.

Research shows that humans can understand a lot about other humans just by watching how they move.

This includes if the person is male or female, what they’re doing, and even how they feel.

One study found that when moving figures looked more female, people were more likely to think they were walking away.

But when the moving figures looked more male, the same observers were more likely to think they were coming closer.

How does this apply to dogs, I hear you ask?

Dogs, like humans, can pick up on subtle body language cues.

If men’s movements are perceived as more assertive or approaching, dogs might interpret them as potentially threatening or intimidating.

This might explain why some dogs react more nervously to men’s movements.

Cultural factors could then amplify these perceptions.

For example, if men interact less gently with dogs, or are often involved in activities dogs find alarming (like rough games, shouting at them, or noisy home repairs), they may further associate men with being scary.

Key Factors to Consider:

• Size and Voice: Men are generally larger and have deeper voices, which can be intimidating.
• Movement Cues: Men’s movements may be interpreted as more assertive and potentially intimidating.
• Perceived Approach: Dogs might be more likely to perceive men as moving toward them, triggering fear.
  
  Note, this is all rather speculative, but it’s certainly worth considering.

Why Men’s Scent Matters

Dogs have a powerful sense of smell and often experience the world in completely different ways from us.

This means when it comes to human scents, male hormones, particularly testosterone, can have a distinct smell that dogs sometimes react to.

This can also contribute to feelings of fear or anxiety.

How to Help Your Dog Feel Safe Around Men

If your dog shows signs of anxiety around men, don’t worry.

As I’ve said, this is a common issue that can be addressed with patience and the right approach.

Here’s how you can help your pup feel more comfortable:

Start with Gradual Exposure

Begin by introducing your dog to men standing at a distance where she feels safe.

This can be someone you know or a random stranger.

Slowly close the gap over several training sessions.

Note: this may take several days or even weeks.

Reward calm behavior with delicious treats (preferably something high value that your dog doesn’t usually get any other time) or a fun game.

If your dog starts to show any signs of stress, take a break.

Next time, go back a few steps and increase the distance back up to a point where she feels comfortable.

In the meantime, if you’ve actively recruited some male participants, encourage them to avoid direct eye contact initially.

Staring is often a hostile behavior in the canine world, so can be intimidating for dogs.

Over time, as your dog gets more relaxed and feels safer, let the man/men softly speak to her or gently throw her treats.

Carefully watch your dog’s reactions.

Always go at her pace and don’t be tempted to rush things.

This will give you the best chance of success.

• RELATED: Yes, No, Or Maybe? Understanding The Consent Test In Dogs

End on a High Note

It’s always best to stop each training session before your dog starts to get stressed, so you end on a positive note.

This leaves her with a positive feeling about the entire process.

Use Desensitization and Counter-Conditioning

Desensitization and counter-conditioning are powerful tools you can use to change how your dog feels.

Desensitization involves controlled, repeated exposures to men as outlined above, while counter-conditioning pairs these exposures with positive experiences.

For example, when a man appears in the distance, immediately offer your dog a high-value treat or engage her in a quick play session.

Over time, this will help her associate men with positive outcomes.

Boosting Socialization Skills

Even for older dogs, socialization is an important piece of the puzzle.

Introduce your dog to a variety of men in calm environments.

See if you can recruit male volunteers who can participate in short, positive encounters to build your dog’s confidence.

Remember, quality interactions are more important than quantity.

The key to good socialization is to make sure every experience is positive.

If your dog is scared, then it defeats the entire purpose.

Why Punishment Sets You Up for Failure

Always avoid punishment, as it can increase your dog’s feelings of fear and mistrust.

Instead, use rewards and praise when she exhibits calm behavior around men.

If she becomes anxious, try redirecting her attention with a favorite toy or activity.

This way, you can strengthen desired behaviors without the damaging effects of punishment.

• RELATED: 11 Reasons Why A Spray Bottle Is NOT Good To Train Dogs

When to Consult a Professional Trainer

If you’re struggling to make progress, don’t hesitate to consult a certified trainer or canine behavior consultant (see my recommendations at the end of the article).

They can provide personalized strategies and, by observing your dog’s triggers, create safe scenarios for exposures to men, often leading to quicker progress.

Leading by Example

I touched on this earlier, but your behavior can significantly influence your dog’s behavior and how she feels.

Like children, dogs often look to their owners for cues on how to react in various situations.

If you stay calm and confident any time you’re around men, you’ll show your pup there’s nothing to worry about.

This can help reduce any anxiety she’s feeling.

Don’t Forget the Vet Check

It’s never a bad idea to take your dog for a quick veterinary check-up.

This way you can be sure there aren’t any underlying health problems contributing to her fear.

If you can address any lingering physical discomforts, it can significantly improve your dog’s overall mood state and therefore her response to new experiences.

How to Recognize Fear in Your Dog

An anxious or fearful dog usually shows multiple signs that indicate her discomfort.

If you can understand what your dog is saying through her body language, you can make sure you never put her in a situation where she doesn’t feel safe.

This not only builds her trust in you but helps increase her confidence too.

Here are some of the most common signs your dog is anxious or scared:

Physical Signs

• Cowering: Dogs may lower their body and tuck their tail between their legs. This posture indicates submission and fear.
• Freezing: Flight or flight are common responses to situations where a dog feels scared, but so is freezing in place.
• Trembling or Shaking: A nervous dog often shakes or trembles when scared.
• Raised Hackles: The fur along the dog’s back may stand up, signaling fear or alertness.
• Ears Back: Pulling the ears back flat against the head shows apprehension.

Subtle Signs

• Avoiding Eye Contact: Dogs may avoid direct eye contact when feeling uneasy or fearful, as sustained eye contact can be seen as confrontational.
• Whale Eye: Showing the whites of the eyes, also known as “whale eye,” indicates stress.
• Dilated Pupils: A sign or emotional arousal, either positive or negative.
• Turning Away: Turning their body or head away from something or someone can indicate discomfort or an attempt to distance themselves.
• Yawning: Yawning in contexts other than tiredness can signal stress or anxiety in dogs.
• Panting: Excessive panting, especially when not hot or after exertion, might indicate nervousness or fear.
• Flicking the Tongue: Dogs may flick their tongue out repeatedly as a nervous habit or as a sign of discomfort.
• Licking the Lips: Licking their lips when not around food can be a sign of stress or apprehension in dogs.

Behavioral Signs

• Barking or Growling: Fearful dogs may bark or growl, especially when they feel cornered or threatened.
• Avoidance Behaviors: Dogs scared of men or strangers might avoid eye contact and try to keep their distance.
• Hiding: Seeking refuge under furniture or in secluded spots is a common reaction.
• Aggressive Behavior: If her warnings are not heeded, a fearful dog might become aggressive. This includes snapping or nipping if she feels threatened.

Why Spotting Signs of Fear Is Crucial

Recognizing fear in your dog is a vital skill for any pet owner, especially when dealing with specific phobias like fear of men.

Here’s why it’s so important:

Prevents Escalation

When you can identify fear early, you can intervene before your dog’s anxiety worsens.

This proactive approach can prevent minor nervousness from developing into full-blown phobias or aggressive behaviors.

• RELATED: Why Is My Dog Aggressive To Other Dogs On Leash Walks?

Enables Timely Intervention

By recognizing fear signals, you can take steps immediately to make your dog feel safe.

This might involve removing her from the situation, providing a safe space to retreat to, or beginning the desensitization techniques mentioned earlier.

Improves Communication

Understanding your dog’s body language enhances your ability to communicate with her.

This deeper connection allows you to respond more effectively to her needs, strengthening your bond.

Ensures a Safer Environment

A fearful dog may react unpredictably.

By recognizing fear, you can manage situations to keep both your dog and others safe, reducing the risk of defensive behaviors or bites.

Enhances Training Effectiveness

When you’re aware of your dog’s emotional state, you can tailor your training approach accordingly.

Training sessions are much more effective when your dog feels secure and relaxed.

Promotes Overall Well-being

Chronic fear and anxiety can have negative impacts on your dog’s physical and mental health.

By addressing fear early, you’re contributing to her overall well-being and quality of life.

Facilitates Socialization

Understanding your dog’s fear responses also allows you to create positive socialization experiences.

This is crucial for helping her become more comfortable around men and social situations in general.

READ NEXT

Does Your Dog Hate Meeting New People? Here’s Why

Resources

• Correlated changes in perceptions of the gender and orientation of ambiguous biological motion figures – Anna Brooks, Ben Schouten, Nikolaus F. Troje, Karl Verfaillie, Olaf Blanke, & Rick van der Zwan

NEED A DOG TRAINER OR BEHAVIOR EXPERT?

If you need more help dealing with a training or behavior issue, please find professional help from a force-free dog trainer who can consult with you either in person or remotely.

GOOD PLACES TO START ARE:
- COAPE Association of Pet Behaviourists and Trainers
- Pet Dog Trainers of Europe
- International Companion Animal Network
- Institute of Modern Dog Trainers
- Pet Professional Guild 

All dog owners deserve to have successful relationships with their canine companions!